True reconciliation requires that we be genuinely repentant, humble, transparent, and sincere before God and before the one whom we have offended. These qualities must be expressed in the attitudes, actions, and words that we use to ask for his forgiveness.
Reconciliation involves a spirit-to-spirit communication in which our sincerity is instantly discerned.
Since few offenses are 100% our fault, and since we instinctively look for ways to justify our actions, our biggest challenge in reconciliation will be to focus on our part of the offense and be sincerely grieved over it. Any lack of true repentance will come out in statements such as these: “If I was wrong, will you forgive me?” or “I know that I was partly to blame; please forgive me,” or “I understand you were offended by what I did, and I apologize.”
Jacob knew that his life and the lives of his family members depended on his making reconciliation the right way. Esau was approaching with 400 men! Jacob wisely sent gifts to Esau before he even saw Esau face to face. Scripture states, “A gift in secret pacifieth anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath” (Proverbs 21:14). Jacob referred to himself as Esau’s servant, and Jacob referred to Esau as his lord. He wrestled with the Lord for a blessing and bowed down seven times as he approached his offended brother.
When Esau saw evidences of sincere repentance, he ran to meet Jacob, embraced him, fell on his neck, kissed him, and they wept. Jacob further demonstrated his sincerity by saying, “… I have seen thy face, as though I had seen the face of God” (Genesis 33:10).
The prodigal son carefully chose his words of reconciliation: “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and I am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants” (Luke 15:18–19).
A request for forgiveness should be as brief as possible since it is one’s spirit that will be doing the real communicating. You should explain that God has convicted you of how wrong you were in offending him and that you have come to ask for his forgiveness. Explain how your offense must have deeply hurt him. The more you understand and “feel” his hurt, the easier it will be for him to forgive you. Be ready to make financial restitution if the damages were tangible.
Before you go, ask a friend to pray for you. This will strengthen and motivate you to follow through in the act of “dying to self” so that you can have a deeper experience of true life!
Showing posts with label restitution. Show all posts
Showing posts with label restitution. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Restoring Relationships
Restoring a relationship with those whom we have offended is not easy. It requires that we set aside all the reasons we have been using to justify our offensive words, attitudes, or actions and seriously consider the offense from their perspectives. When tangible loss has been suffered, it is vital that we make full restitution in order to gain a clear conscience.
The cost of restitution is incidental compared to the cost of shipwrecking our faith with the lack of a clear conscience.
Paul sent Timothy into spiritual warfare with only two weapons: his faith and a clear conscience. He warned Timothy that those who fail to maintain a clear conscience will make shipwreck of their faith. (See I Timothy 1:19.) Paul himself affirmed the importance of a clear conscience when he stated, “Herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence [sic] toward God, and toward men” (Acts 24:16). Purposing to make restitution demonstrates an acknowledgment of wrongdoing and a willingness to do whatever is possible to restore the relationship.
When a businessman returned to a former employer to ask forgiveness for taking some funds out of the cash register, he brought with him the amount of money he had taken, plus interest. This was an especially difficult sacrifice to make, because the businessman was out of a job. The former employer was amazed by his action and accepted the check. Can you imagine the businessman’s surprise when this former employer then said, “I don’t know what you are doing now, but we are looking for an honest man to fill an important position in our company, and you have just qualified yourself as one by what you have done”!
We should not always expect such a good response when we make restitution, however. After a certain woman heard about the importance of making restitution, she went to authorities and confessed that she had killed a person. To make restitution, she had to serve a prison term. While she was in prison, she experienced God’s grace and had a rich ministry to fellow prisoners.
Most offenses involve wrongdoing by both parties, but the one who is more spiritual will initiate reconciliation.
Let’s ask the Lord to bring to our remembrance people whom we have damaged and discern what restitution would be appropriate.
The cost of restitution is incidental compared to the cost of shipwrecking our faith with the lack of a clear conscience.
Paul sent Timothy into spiritual warfare with only two weapons: his faith and a clear conscience. He warned Timothy that those who fail to maintain a clear conscience will make shipwreck of their faith. (See I Timothy 1:19.) Paul himself affirmed the importance of a clear conscience when he stated, “Herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence [sic] toward God, and toward men” (Acts 24:16). Purposing to make restitution demonstrates an acknowledgment of wrongdoing and a willingness to do whatever is possible to restore the relationship.
When a businessman returned to a former employer to ask forgiveness for taking some funds out of the cash register, he brought with him the amount of money he had taken, plus interest. This was an especially difficult sacrifice to make, because the businessman was out of a job. The former employer was amazed by his action and accepted the check. Can you imagine the businessman’s surprise when this former employer then said, “I don’t know what you are doing now, but we are looking for an honest man to fill an important position in our company, and you have just qualified yourself as one by what you have done”!
We should not always expect such a good response when we make restitution, however. After a certain woman heard about the importance of making restitution, she went to authorities and confessed that she had killed a person. To make restitution, she had to serve a prison term. While she was in prison, she experienced God’s grace and had a rich ministry to fellow prisoners.
Most offenses involve wrongdoing by both parties, but the one who is more spiritual will initiate reconciliation.
Let’s ask the Lord to bring to our remembrance people whom we have damaged and discern what restitution would be appropriate.
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